r/OkCupid. i have long hair personally and so for me appearance is hit or miss, but for the women who do love a man with long hair, i was a big hit and we hit it off great. How to write an intro? No. If you're the type to ramble on and on... and you purposely cut your messages short, in time you're going to ramble and the woman will realize you're a rambler and end up ghosting you. Introductions are irrelevant if I don't find someone attractive (physically as well as personality-wise from what I can gather from a profile). . the length of the message should not matter. Had times where response is weeks later. Alright, so you’ve matched — You’ve screened (checked out her full profile) as demonstrated in Part Three. log in sign up. It matters on the kind of guy you are. Many women have a spectrum of what they're looking for - from casual fling (even if it doesn't say so on their profile) through to 'meet the parents' LTR material.. How you open, and thus indicating what you're into, can go a long way in setting where in that spectrum you're going to drop the pin. the two best interactions i've had recently came from me giving long replies and messages. If you like to learn new things, write about the cooking class you took or the yoga retreat you went on. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, I love social distancing cuz I look better from 6ft away. i have found that the profile matters very little. or be a bit more detailed? Emojis can be interpreted in many different ways, so describing yourself with them in your OkCupid profile will lead to … Thanks again for reading. One of the greatest connections i ever made and we still keep in contact. You can also leave a response or trackback from your own site. Assuming your messages aren't extremely generic ("hi"), and you aren't saying something offensive, it may be your pictures/profile that need improving. I usually start with: Hey X! 1 month ago. OkCupid data scientists looked at over a million conversations and found that across all sexual identities, 40-90 characters is the ideal length for a successful first message. Tip #3: Keep The Attraction Building . I don't know and I really would like some help. I mean not like 10 paragraphs long, but it was 3 paragraphs, and as they replied more it turned into essays between me and them. I work in 90% plus rejection based business (real estate) so when I was looking for dates, I would simply just work in bulk, this I found out was not what my friends did in terms of messaging girls. Posted by. If all else fails talk about any pets they have in their pictures. OkCupid Profile “About Me” #5: Things I am not Using emojis for the OkCupid profile prompt “Things I am not” is the perfect chance to reveal your sassy side. I usually just open up with a question and usually about a subject or topic that they enthused about in their profile instead of the "How are you?" (I live in NYC, so there is a ton people on the apps, don't know how it is outside of here) On average, when I am on apps, I can have two to four dates per week, which can get spendy. 210k members in the OkCupid community. I'll still read them but it doesn't make a difference. User account menu. But because there's no inbox I doubt it changes much. you can word it a 100 different ways and what you like abou tit, but there is no top 10 way that is guaranteed to get you a reply for example. then comment something about their profile then comes a question about a topic that they like. You're just not going to get replies. According to OkTrends (OkCupid’s data blog), some of the most successful messages included words like “zombie,” “band,” “metal,” and “vegetarian.” “I see you also like vegetables. Observe a common interest, relate it to yourself, and ask a question. I can't speak for all women, but given that OkCupid ranks your profile much higher if you send someone a message, I don't think it's just me. I don't count bot or spam messages either, i mean genuine messages. Messages should generally be brief, but not so brief that the recipient has no idea why you are interested in them. 441 Responses to “Exactly What To Say In A First Message” « Older Comments. 5. because i'm an intellectual type who likes discussing thing, it was a sign that we resonated well. Introduction. question. You are 1 of probably 10 men that are going to message her this week, mean while if a woman messages you, she'd be 1 of 10 that will message you this year. exactly this. I mean as a male the same is for me. I've sent about 30+ and haven't gotten a single response and it has been really hitting my self-confidence as of late. Don’t get down. That is so grape!” Does this mean you should write about zombies? . This. Here are some OkCupid profile examples for women as well as a quick overview of what the profile looks like and tips to give you some ideas and inspiration. But then it can be the same or next day. I say play is simple, be brief, the message should have at least something to do with what she likes, etc. This article was posted on Monday, September 14th, 2009 at 4:49 pm. very often. For each section, you can select one prompt to answer from a list of 5 or 6. And now you’re wondering — “what the hell do I say to her?” Messaging Women on OKCUPID MY fundamental rules for OKCupid Messages that get responses: 1) Make sure you only ever message her when she is online. Notice something interesting or different about her, and ask a question about it. Usually if people can't write a good profile they also aren't great at conversation, but you can always give it a shot with some basic "How was your weekend" or something, New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, Press J to jump to the feed. We love doing profile reviews here, so we might be able to help if you're willing to share you're profile. For even more profile help, check out these successful OkCupid profile examples for guys! I am really struggling with intros. I'm just messaging people who have a high match percentage. Sending a message doesn't mean I'll respond, and in only rare cases does it influence whether I'm interested or not, but it DOES greatly enhance the chance of me seeing your profile. the only way i'd say you have to make a particular style is if you're looking to smash and you're not looking for long term. Instead of one main “About Me” type introduction, OkCupid profiles consist of 9 main sections, with the ability to add more by choosing additional topics from the menu. Close. THen the impression the woman gets of you in the first few minutes is all that mattters because you'll smash a bit and not interact beyond the surface. What is a good intro that can open up a conversation and possibly lead to something more? Don't overreach and get weird/needy, but do send a lot of messages out, I mean a lot on a daily basis -its a numbers game, you will get responses. Should I keep it short? Choosing a prompt from each one isn’t mandatory, but you need to provide enough information to intrigue her. Journalists, please write firstname.lastname@example.org for more info. Guys that send me messages are almost guaranteed to get me to look at their profile, guys that don't are not. 5. You can follow any responses to it through the RSS 2.0 feed. Intros don't seem to do much..I've sent out about 300 and the wosst they are is boring...some of them are interesting at least. OkCupid Profile Overview Before we dive into profile examples for each section, let’s examine exactly what goes into an OkCupid … I am really struggling with intros. Your message is only one small part of things, your pictures and profile content are also important. u/Legionstone. Some people actually don’t spend a lot of time here for one reason or another.