Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist and life coach practicing internationally via distance technologies. I love our binges! Turn your lives into a fairy tale. “Many couples are too busy to touch or feel that if they do it will lead them to sex. “They don’t sweat the small stuff, like who loaded the dishwasher yesterday and who made more money this month. But happy couples take a second to slow their roll, says Firstein. “This is a huge mistake. Unhappy couples don’t exhibit courtesy and sensitivity in the way they treat each other. Plus, it's a great way to wake up in the morning! “The person who is not being heard will find somebody to listen,” says Walsh. Lack of communication is the number one reason even good relationships fail. Research shows that social media use has some interesting implications for your relationship. Here’s why: if you’re spending your week pissed because your partner isn’t carrying his or her weight around the house, having this convo can prevent you from wrongly chalking it up as a personality defect, says Finkel. They check with each other before making big purchases or plans with extended family. Why Did Chrishell Stause & Justin Hartley Divorce? And then fights are seen as just temporary rifts, not chasms in the relationship! Researchers from the University of Hertfordshire found that 94 percent of couples who touched or nearly touched while sleeping reported being happy in their relationship while only 68 percent of couples who had more distant sleeping habits reported the same satisfaction. Wait, This Is When J.Lo And A-Rod Actually Met?! and for some reason that always feels like a nice way to start the evening.”, When you’re pissed at your partner, it’s hard to remember to listen to their side of things. Touching is part of broad-based eroticism and does not have to be goal oriented, but rather a playful act between partners.” Time to revisit the good old days of makeout sessions. I thought it was so cute,” says Sajel S. “We decided to download Words With Friends and have had a blast playing it together while dating long-distance. A happy couple shows affection and respect • A happy couple knows that physical contact between them is essential. When you fight, try to avoid starting sentences with “you,” says Wendy Walsh, Ph.D. and author of The 30-Day Love Detox. Start your week by syncing up on what each of you has on deck, suggests Eli Finkel, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois, and author of The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work. And don’t be afraid to express your feelings of appreciation with your partner — he or she will be thankful that you did. My fiancé Tommy values acts of service most while I'm a very independent person who has a hard time asking for help," says Mandie M. "When he asks me for help, it makes a huge difference for me to remember that helping him makes him feel loved, so I make sure to put time and thought into answering his questions or helping him do things. Take a fresh look at these differences. It doesn’t matter how long they’ve been together. Wherever you're at, research shows that certain ways of relating and being together can increase your chances of maintaining love and togetherness for the long haul. “We also sleep holding hands.". It’s likely that your differences balance one another out and make you a great team. Surprise your partner with lovely little things. “Many couples are too busy to touch or feel that if they do it will lead them to sex. You need to accept your partner for who he/she is. Happy couples are more present with each other and make an effort to listen and take each other’s needs seriously. The truth is that a good relationship, like anything you want to succeed in life, must be worked on and tended to on a regular basis. As a result of hard work and commitment, they figure out the importance of the following relationship “musts.” Because few couples know about all of the musts, I think of them as the relationship “secrets.”. Sometimes it's difficult, but thanks to apps like www.happycoupleapp.com, it's easier to talk about sensitive topics. It is also research-based on a survey completed by 100 couples. “It sounds really silly, but it's something sweet and simple we do for each other. Couples who are often trying to "change" each other just add tension to the relationship and that tension becomes a stone on the road to happiness. My boyfriend and i listen to each other a lot, and when something's wrong, we always talk about it. They treat their partner respectfully in front of other people, even when they are angry. Two people cannot spend years together without having legitimate areas of disagreement. She is a former professor, national speaker, and the author of The Stress Proof Brain. They have a common goal and understanding of working together to live their best lives possible.”, “At bedtime, we each share what our three best memories are from the day and one thing that we are grateful for,” shares Echo, G., married 35 years. They might be 30, or 75. This promotes and strengthens feelings of affection and connection,” she says. Our anti-date nights ignite that little spark you get when you first make eyes across the room with someone and flirt without words. Or maybe you're in the honeymoon stage of a relationship and want to know how to make the good feelings last. Happy couples also don’t engage in character assassination. For instance, instead of complaining how your partner never cleans out the dishwasher, try just doing it yourself once in awhile without complaint. It’s hard to argue when you use this format, and best of all, you may come up with an understanding or a solution. How do these couples stay in love, in good times and in bad? • Also, a happy couple knows that shows of affection are necessary to become a close couple. True intimacy has no secrets.”, “Every night we cook dinner together—or at least keep one another company while the other cooks,” says Ashley W., married for 16 years. They may hug goodbye, bring each other coffee, or offer to help each other out. ", "My boyfriend and I started out dating long distance and had been together for about six months when I saw a post by Jessica Biel on Instagram of her and Justin Timberlake playing board games. By contrast, happy couples tend to reach out to each other after fighting to show they still care, even if the issue isn’t fully resolved. 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